So relationships are a big part of living. Many times people are single and they say ” Oh I love to be single, I am happy this way.” But are you? Are you really? Chances are, you probably aren’t because we were placed on this earth to love and be loved. Well, that’s my belief anyways.
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Well if you are single and you are wondering why your relationships never work then I am here to give you some insights.
If you are currently in a relationship or marriage, but you seem to be having every issue in the book then I am also gonna give you some insights that may help to fix your problems.
Now let me say this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful and you are enough. Everyone has flaws, it’s just a matter of finding someone who is willing to accept them. And Trust me when I say, that person is out there. If someone won’t date you for a particular reason then that’s their loss. Just remain the good person that you are and be patient.
You just must note that I am no relationship expert! However, my advice comes from psychological research and personal observations. I will leave the comment section open for the people who can share from experience.
What are Emotional Needs?
Emotional needs are those needs that a person requires in order to feel emotionally fulfilled. Everyone has a set of specific needs that they cannot fulfill themselves and that is where relationships come in. These needs play a huge role in your mental state and if they are not fulfilled they can lead to personal problems as well as problems in your relationships. Never try to give the love exactly how you want to receive it. You have to try to love a person in the way they need to be loved. If I ask for a gluten-free cake, you cannot give me cookies and cream Ice cream and expect it to satisfy me. If I have money then more money is probably not one of my emotional needs. That’s the basic idea.
List of emotional needs:
What happens when emotional needs are not fulfilled
When emotional needs are not fulfilled many things may happen.
- The relationship may become toxic and abusive
- Cheating may occur
- A break-up or Divorce may occur
- Emotional instability
- Mental Health Problems such as depression and anxiety may arise
- Lost of security
- Feelings of unworthiness
- Feelings of a purposeless life
- Other (Feel free to list some below in the comments)
How do you fix this problem
The first step in correcting this is knowing what your emotional needs are. This goes back to the art of knowing yourself which was covered in The Importance of Self Celebration article that I wrote a few weeks ago. Feel free to go back and refresh your memory or read it if you haven’t.
Knowing yourself means that you know what your emotional needs are and that way you can seek to have those fulfilled. Let’s take Susan, her emotional needs are affection, conversation, recreational companionship, honesty and openness, and family commitment. Susan started dating bob who says that he does not like to show affection however he requires sexual fulfillment from Susan. Susan agrees but shortly after, the relationship starts to fade because Susan feels lonely as she does not receive affectionate hugs, compliments or kisses. They eventually break up.
Where did Susan go wrong? Well firstly, you should never date someone who clearly says they cannot provide you with what you need. Unless both or one of you is willing to change.
To avoid confusion and problems later on, I recommend that you discuss your emotional needs with your future partner. Make a list and share it with each other. Tell them exactly what you want. If you are in a relationship that seems to be failing then evaluate how best you both can address your emotional needs.
If you have any questions just leave them in the comments below or contact me via the contact form. Thank you so much for reading and I wish you all the best in the relationship world.
This post was inspired by the book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. If you have in interest in reading further on this topic then you can purchase it on Amazon using my link.
Peace, Love, and Light. Until next time.